Some significant size is Pitlochry for these parts, all outdoor shops and shortbread. Be warned, though, it can get lively at weekends and the bouncers in the bars are bussed in from Dundee.
No time today for the River Tummel with its weir and salmon ladder, an aid to their annual, upstream struggle. Nor the café and bar at the Festival Theatre with its, quite frankly, ridiculously scenic riverside setting.
This is what you call a river, a proper river. Just south of town, gently trail as far as you can taking in the salmon ladder and where things can get a very different kind of dramatic at the theatre.
No, everything and everywhere is strictly standing room only for there's only gone and been an invasion. An invasion by bicyclists, over 5,000 of them and the traffic cones should've been a clue.
It's only the Etape Caledonia this weekend and unless you're bicycling yourself, you might want to double check that fact. They'll let you into Pitlochry, alright, but they won't let you leave until Sunday afternoon.
Preferred drinks supplier, just not tonight. It's set back a bit from the high street and has its own shrubbery giving the feel you've been transported to somewhere in the Cotswolds, say, just not tonight.
Now, who doesn't like a pasta, usually a linguine with a Ligurian Albarola? Not an 'all you can eat' served in a pub converted into a canteen for the evening.
For one night only, and with everywhere else fully booked, it's more of an 'auld' you can eat pasta joint so it can't be vouched for normally. Still, there's an outdoor area and the bouncers are friendly enough. They're bussed in from Dundee and can't believe they got this gig.
How you managed to bag the last room in town without this prior knowledge will come as a bit of a surprise. Still, no late-night rowdies returning to their rooms, the race kicks off at 6-45 AM.
Flat breads and rice aren't seen as the sensible choice for the dedicated carb-stockers, apparently, so the local tandoori is one of the few available options.
Just off the high street and near to the train station, there's no need to time a table since it's spacious and shouldn't be too busy. Watch that jalfrezi, though, it's a bit fiery!
Here's a pic of the Pitlochry Church of Scotland for no other reason than the sunset making it look like it's set ablaze.
A bit like Bob's gob, that jalfrezi really was quite fiery, phew!
This was once the place to stay in Pitlochry, probably. It's up a bit of a hill and the walk back will do you good.