Well, well, well, this is, quite literally, what we're dealing with here. Three of them, wells that is, bubbling up in Wells and channelled down the high street when the water table rises.
It's free to drink, although hardly recommended these days, 'gifted' to the citizens by some old bishop back in the 1400s, thanks very much.
Two of the springs surface in the grounds of the Bishop's Palace, whose gardens you're free to wander around, and who doesn't love a moat?
Those attempting to ransack a bishop's palace? Fair point.
Speaking of undrinkable and aged fluid, Wetherspoon™s' inevitable offering in a city of this size is called the Quarter Jack, an animated figure who strikes the bell of some old clock or other.
While we're not big fans of these places, honestly not, the Director of Contrived Waterhole Naming gets a ringing endorsement (4/5) because Bob had to Google™ it.
It's picture-postcard stuff so far, a handsome high street leading up to a smart market square.
When one of the knick-knack providers is called Cadeaux & Co. then you just know that Wells is a little bit that kind of place.
This is England's smallest city, like you didn't know already, although technically it isn't. You forgot to count the City of London, which they do, and you thought Ely was the littlest?
All olde-worlde interior and a pleasant outdoor area to enjoy the last of the sun. Anton will fill you up with grub in his 'Bistrot' so yes, Wells is very much that kind of place.
If this is England's smallest city, if you don't count the City of London, which they do, then it must have a...
Well, yes, those were the rules in the olden days but not necessarily these days where city status is now handed out willy-nilly and we're looking at you Inverness. Yes, Wells has a cathedral and it looks not a little unlike this.
Sometime in the earlyish 1200s this one, replacing the inevitable Saxon church on the same site. Going with the fashionable and newfangled Gothic, it's home to the Bishop of Bath and Wells who, if you're anything like SlyBob, you'll only have heard of from an episode of Blackadder.
The internals will have to be imagined and it's imagined that you can because it's time to be somewhere else so a nod and a 'good job' are all this gets today.
The cathedral creates quite a cityscape and you can see it from absolutely everywhere making for a daytripper's delight.
The influx of visitors aren't just here for the cathedral, grounds and palace. No, Wookey Hole is just up the road as is the Cheddar Gorge and it's starting to look like they'll be run off their feet in Cadeaux & Co. today.
The cathedral is even visible, nearly, from the forecourt of your Premier-like lodgings, on the way to a decent tandoori and washed down with a Wetherspoon™s.
It's now known that the clock the quarterjack strikes can be found round the side of the cathedral on Cathedral Green. That makes the 'Spoonses work all the more admirable and they're getting an immediate upgrade to an unprecedented (5/5).
Hey, what else are you supposed to do come sundown when the cathedral and Cadeaux and Co. are closed?