Well, wouldn't you know it? It looks like we've got ourselves another 'Gateway' here, a 'Gateway' to the Norfolk Broads but only if you're coming at 'em from the north and west.

Not just a 'Gateway', though, but the 'Capital of the Broads', no less, just don't say that to an inhabitant of Hoveton. There appears to be some rivalry with the village over the bridge but we already know this.

Ross Warrell runs wildlife boat trips from nearby Martham, he used to be in Horsey, and eavesdropping during one voyage on a passenger who used to live here... 'You'll know what I mean then, it's a village at war!'

From Wroxham's big car park and marina, there's no sign of any armed conflict with those on the opposite shore. Quite the contrary, it's all very leisurely with boat trips a big drawer for the day-tripper.

The Vintage Broadsman isn't a real paddle steamer, really, and is as new as 1988. It can still fuel your imagination of the Mississippi, though, even if the River Bure is far from it, literally and not to mention length and width-wise.

This isn't, by the way, the same operation that runs out of Horning where that, unlike the Mississippi, isn't a million miles away.

Venturing over the bridge into Hoveton and the reason for the rivalry is evident. Hoveton is doing all of the heavy lifting on the fleshpot front with a hotel and a handful of knick-knacks and caffs, a couple of which are hidden behind and right on the river.

Pleasant enough but those fond of a riverside ramble shouldn't get too excited. Access is mainly to boats and people's gardens and the farthest you'll get is Hoveton's small visitor centre where a man in a hat won't mind too much while you shelter from the rain.

Hoveton Riverside Park might sound tempting but, once it's stopped raining, it's not much larger than a garden and the railway line will soon stop you in your tracks.

There's more respite from the rain in Roys. Roys? Only the world-famous, at least it is in East Anglia, family-run, old-skool department store, a branch of which we're already familiar with in Beccles.

They've managed to survive the trend towards trading online with several sites in Norfolk and Suffolk and Roys Toys, really, even has a separate outlet here as does their newish Food Hall even if much of it is a McDonald™s.

Now, SlyBob likes this sort of thing but there's an issue. No, two issues! 'Roys of Wroxham', should you still be following, isn't in Wroxham, it's in Hoveton but Wroxham was recorded as the delivery address when the business was started in 1895.

Secondly, where's the apostrophe in Roys? It's bet that there's a spare one in the grocery aisles, there's bound to be some best banana's but the best bananases what?

The Apostrophe Protection Society, yes really, can get off of their high horses, however, because Roys is Alfred and Arnold, two Roy brothers, you see, so the possessive simply isn't necessary.

If you have given this more than a second's thought, then you too are likely to have spent too much time sheltering from the rain near the back of Roys', now we need an apostrophe, big car park.

Because Roys sells absolutely everything, yes everything, that renders the rest of Hoveton redundant on the shopping front and what there is on offer is best described as, erm, functional.

That means just one thing left to do so how about hiring a boat and setting off out on the water?

Now, if you've ever hired a motor car then you'll be familiar with having to produce a valid UK driving licence, some other form of photo ID and a proof of address at the very least.

Then there's the ritual pretence of understanding the unfathomable array of additional insurance options, what exactly is a Collision Damage Waiver?

The vetting here, however, is far less stringent and the only requirement appears to be a bag-for-life from Roys full of pork pies and four-packs of Kopparberg™!