'There's more to life than Diss!'
SlyBob was not long up that morning so the proposal for the new town motto hadn't really been thought through. It sort of suggests the complete opposite of what's intended and is saying you'd be better off in nearby Thetford instead?
'Don't dismiss Diss!'
Alright, alright, some work is required but there's plenty time to think of a better one after an encouraging plod past a pond.
Hmmm, 'Diss is the life!'
That's more like it and 'Diss' is the high street. It's actually the pedestrianised bit of Mere Street but seems to be doing the job well enough.
It's fairly standard fayre along here with a small, serviceable market at the top. There you can buy some car accessories and browse a neat looking selection of fruit & veg or leer at the stock with a steering lock.
Just prior to the Parish Church, there's a small, community-run museum that keeps irregular hours. If the timing's right, they'll fill you in on the history of Diss and, yes, that church is early 14th century and, yes, Richard the Lionheart did grant the market charter.
It's not so much a pond but more of a mere and this bookshop has a café with outdoor seating that's right on it.
Market Hill isn't really and the gentle slope leads pleasantly up to the old Corn Hall. It was all about the corn in the day, in fact they traded all manner of cereal here well into the 20th century.
It's now an arts venue and caters to fans of theatre, cinema and comedy.
Recent events have included a stage adaptation of Dickens' Barleyby Rudge, a screening of the sci-fi classic The Matrix starring Quinoa Reeves and a standup performance by big, Irish funnyman Dara O'Bran.
You're probably wondering who put Diss Mere here and here's the thing, nobody really seems to know.
It's said to be the second deepest 'natural' lake in England although that fact is muddied by 40 of its 60 foot being accounted for by it. One theory has it formed from the crater of an extinct volcano although East Anglia and Krakatoa aren't often heard together in a sentence.
The local weaving industry wasn't always so eco-friendly and by the 1800s, this thing had more mercury in it than a Queen's greatest hits compilation. Preferable to living here, the resident eels were said to throw themselves onto the banks possibly encouraged by another rendition of 'I Want To Break Free'.
Blue-green algae is the main problem now and causes the council to occasionally switch the fountain off. Sounds lovely? It is actually and clean enough to swim in although that's not actively encouraged. You might also want to keep an eye out for the 100-pound catfish that was pulled out in 2015.
Local angler Phil Spinks threw it back in and it has only just been permanently removed having gained 22lbs in five years.
Seriously, it was 'Diss' big.