Pitlochry >
May 2021+
pit Pictish (portion of) land + cloich sentinel stone + aire Scottish Gaelic place (of). Population - 2,564.
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Perth and Kinross
May 2021+
Some significant size is Pitlochry for these parts, all outdoor shops and shortbread. Be warned, though, it can get lively at weekends and the bouncers in the bars are bussed in from Dundee.
No time today for the River Tummel with its weir and salmon ladder, an aid to their annual, upstream struggle. Nor the café and bar at the Festival Theatre with its, quite frankly, ridiculously scenic riverside setting.
This is what you call a river, a proper river. Just south of town, gently trail as far as you can taking in the salmon ladder and where things can get a very different kind of dramatic at the theatre.
Where the Tummel meets the River Garry, things broaden into Loch Faskally. Swimming with salmon in late summer, boating, fishing and fishing from a boat are the main attractions or you can just enjoy a calming cuppa outside of the lochside caff.
No, everything and everywhere is strictly standing room only for there's only gone and been an invasion. An invasion by bicyclists, over 5,000 of them and the traffic cones should've been a clue.
It's only the Etape Caledonia this weekend and unless you're bicycling yourself, you might want to double check that fact. They'll let you into Pitlochry, alright, but they won't let you leave until Sunday afternoon.
Preferred drinks supplier, just not tonight. It's set back a bit from the high street and has its own shrubbery giving the feel you've been transported to somewhere in the Cotswolds, say, just not tonight.
Now, who doesn't like a pasta, usually a linguine with a Ligurian Albarola? Not an 'all you can eat' served in a pub converted into a canteen for the evening.
For one night only, and with everywhere else fully booked, it's more of an 'auld' you can eat pasta joint so it can't be vouched for normally. Still, there's an outdoor area and the bouncers are friendly enough. They're bussed in from Dundee and can't believe they got this gig.
How you managed to bag the last room in town without this prior knowledge will come as a bit of a surprise. Still, no late-night rowdies returning to their rooms, the race kicks off at 6-45 AM.
Flat breads and rice aren't seen as the sensible choice for the dedicated carb-stockers, apparently, so the local tandoori is one of the few available options.
Just off the high street and near to the train station, there's no need to time a table since it's spacious and shouldn't be too busy. Watch that jalfrezi, though, it's a bit fiery!
Here's a pic of the Pitlochry Church of Scotland for no other reason than the sunset making it look like it's set ablaze.
A bit like Bob's gob, that jalfrezi really was quite fiery, phew!
For late Victorians, this was once the place to stay in Pitlochry, probably. It's up a bit of a hill, mind, but the walk back and the indoor pool will do you good, no doubt.
When there isn't an etape on and restrictions have slowly started to lift following you-know-what, Pitlochry looks a little not unlike this.
It's a curious and enticing mix of knick-knacks for the coach trips, outdoor stores for hardier types and fleshpots for the stags and hens on an 'activity' weekend.
That'll explain the bungee jump and the zip lines up at the Killiecrankie Visitor Centre, then?
The Battle of Killiekrankie, a famously gory victory for the Jacobites over the English-led army in 1689 didn't quite have the desired effect and ended up playing a part in the precursor to Glen Coe.
The densely forested gorge remains much as it was, naturally, just with a train line and a bungee jump in it now. Soldier's Leap is down there somewhere, an 18-foot fling of faith taken by retreating redcoats over the River Garry.
18-foot? That's nothing! There's a 130-foot one, these days, although that is, admittedly, straight down, then up, then down, then up again etc.
Killiekrankie? You could by sabotaging the ropes, it's supposed, but the motive for murdering one-half of the pair of panto stalwarts and foremost children's entertainers of the era?
Now, that's a ready-made episode right there when they bring back Rebus, eh?