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St Andrews >  Google™ Map May 2023+  Fife Coat of Arms

St Andrews yes, he of apostle fame, no less. Population - 18,410.

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May 2023+

Fife Coat of Arms

For no other reason than this is on the way to somewhere else and there's simply no avoiding it.

Besides, there's no point being where we really want to be while this rain persists so why not pop into a posh, university town for a coffee or a green tea but definitely no coughing up for green fees but more on that in a minute, eh?

This is a first time in Fife and first impressions are that it looks great, even in the rain, a not-unusual Scottish experience but that now means hanging around in shops with little intention to buy.

That includes inside J & G Innes, a good old-fashioned, family-run bookshop and a St Andrews institution for over 140 years.

Except the books are no longer filed alphabetically by author and subject but in the permanently closed category, big news that even made it to the BBC™.

The owners decided to retire, you see, and shut up shop on New Year's Eve 2023. That made not so much for a Hogmanay, more of a Hogman-Hay-on-Wye, which is where most of the stock might end up, eh?

It's not known if the new tenants will retain the oak exterior, which is unlikely if, or when, Wetherspoon™s invade. No, it will all be ripped down and the Directory of Contrived Waterhole Naming will call it the 'Old Stationers' (1/5) like there aren't enough fleshpots along South Street already?

The slippery-when-wet cobbles on Market Street aren't the originals since that would make them 12th-century old, the first recorded date of trading along here.

There is, however, something of a similar age and for that it's a short hop up and over North Street to the Scores.

  Northpoint Cafe (North Street)

There's no modern, indoor shopping centre here in which to mooch and nurse a mug of tea following a Full Scottish as you would elsewhere in comparable conditions.

You'll likely end up somewhere like this and, well, this was bound to pop up sooner or later so let's nip this elephant in the bud.

This is where HRH Wills met Kate, possibly on an introductory date, and they'll tell you that much in the window so are still dining out on it some 20 years later.

Not the royal couple, they've long since moved on not that anybody needs to know about it in so much detail.

Remember the Scores? Reportedly the 'Most Expensive Street in Scotland', real-estate-wise, which should come as no surprise since every other property is a stately home.

Quite a lot of the buildings are given over to the university including some student lodgings that don't exactly look to be character building.

After the Oxbridges, the university is the third oldest in the 'English-speaking' world and could be considered to be in the exclusive echelon, results included.

The guest houses to the west are clearly catering to those who require lodgings while they visit their children who are lodging on a longer but still-temporary basis but whose parents' permanent lodgings are likely to be far more luxurious.

That's all a rather long-winded way, by the way, of saying the town is as wealthy as suspected, there's a right whiff of it.

While we're here, nice views down and out to the North Sea from the back of the university-operated Wardlaw Museum although any evidence is obsolete in the current climate. No views, neither, on the contents, which showcase the educational establishment's history and act not only to inform but as an overseas recruitment drive.

Incidentally, it's not known where 'Scores' comes from because if you Google™ it with St Andrews then the results all link to some braggart or other claiming a hole-in-one on the tricky, Par-3 8th.

East Scores is where you'll find St Andrews Castle but following centuries of ding-dongs with the English, not that much of the 12th-century fortification remains.

There's more of it behind and below the east tower but the most interesting aspect, perhaps, is an 'underground' mine, which, thinking about it, is where they're generally found.

In 1546, the 2nd Earl of Arran, whoever he was, tried tunnelling in but was met with a 'counter-mine' dug by some resident Protestants in an attempt to keep the enemy out.

That's all inevitably linked to Mary Queen of Scots but there's an earlier association with Robert the Bruce and if only Robert 'Rabbie' Burns had written a poem about it, that would make for an unplayable hand in Scottish Castle Poker.

As for the underground mine, it seems you're currently not allowed down, which is a shame since it would provide some convenient cover today, being underground and all, a fact that, thinking about it, doesn't really need to be advertised.

There's a more-than-serviceable beach down there, not that there's any point investigating today.

Castle Sands aren't quite as impressive as West Sands, which is where they filmed the famous scenes in Chariots of Fire, but there's another reason not to suss out the shore.

Stern warnings are given to students for "NO post-exam duckings" and reports of all-night parties with the littering that comes with it suggest we've got another Newquay on our hands?

St Andrews? Sounds like you'd need the patience of one should you fancy a decent night's sleep for a few weeks in the summer.

Right next door to the castle is St Andrews Cathedral and if you're a member of Historic Environment Scotland then you can fill your boots for 'free' with here and the castle. It pre-dates the castle by a couple of decades but not much of this remains, neither, that Scottish Reformation and all that.

Miraculously, maybe, St. Rule's Tower, there on the right, remains standing and this was built 100 years earlier to house the relics of St. Andrew. The relics of St. Andrew?

Right then, that's St. Andrew the apostle, one of JC's right-hand men here in, well, St Andrews? It certainly is and St. Rule, or St. Regulus as you probably know him, inexplicably fled here in the 300s, it's said, bringing with him Andy's old bones.

Ah! So that's what's meant by 'relics' and not old football programmes or tasting menus that were left lying about in his loft. No, and he was encouraged to do so in a vision to preserve the petrified pieces in a place as far away as possible from Greece.

He either didn't like the look of Dundee or perhaps he fancied a game of golf?

Golf, of course, the main attraction for those not being educated here and we'll drive out past the Old Course with a semi-familiar view back up the 18th fairway to the Hamilton Grand Hotel.

This isn't just any golf, though, this is premium golf and attracts the sort of types who think nothing of £250 a round. That appears not to be overly extortionate for the world's oldest, despite it being a public, course just as long as you can prove you're nearly on par with a pro.

One three-night package being advertised, however, is asking northwards of £4.5K and a couple inconsiderately unloading at the Rusacks Hotel look to have forked out for it, yet another whiff of the wealth here.


Meanwhile, back on the 18th fairway, that hole is just one of 126, which is another way of saying there are seven golf courses within walking distance of town. That's more holes than there are in SlyBob's combined knowledge of the game but not the reason for spoiling a good walk today.

There are seven courses within walking distance you say? But what about driving distance?

Just over 200 yards with a fair wind, eh?

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