Don't you mean Oporto? Show some respect to the native tongue, unpronounceable as it is, although SlyBob aren't the types to go full Milano on you, just yet.

Except it ain't no Oporto and if you let that slip to a local, you'll be strung up in the sun with the salt cod.

It's an English extension, accidentally added in the early 18th century when they came to steal, sorry encourage the export of, the fortified fluid that the region is famous for.

Some misunderstanding of the definite article, they say, but you might hear gasps of 'Oh! Porto!' from your equally impressed, fellow visitors.

Not as big as but better than Lisbon, controversial, and, get this, it'll be even nicer when it's finished.

During and after you-know-what, visitor numbers ranged from none to just downright down so the fat cats at Porto City Hall thought this as good a time as any to construct a new metro line.

That means the previously accessible Praça da Liberdade is now a building site unless 'now' is late 2026 when it might all be complete.

It's currently causing what couldn't really be called kettling or corralling but some slightly inconvenient diverting. If you do find yourselves inconvenienced then spare a thought for those who have to live with it and if you still feel inconvenienced then just remember you're on holiday in Porto man!

Advising trippers, by the way, have been very vocal on the subject but, deary me, when did a noisy cement mixer ever really ruin a city break? Idiots!

Off to Porto are you? Oooh, we hear it's very hilly...

The City Hall is the height of your ambitions and it's downhill all the way with some slightly inconvenient diverting required.

The narrow Rua das Flores heads off from the main road south where it's all tiled fleshpots and knick-knacks but what are these young gentlemen selling come sundown?

It must be some kind of local delicacy and they must be very proud of its provenance because some of them are quite insistent.

Portugal's fairly liberal drug laws mean that possession isn't necessarily a criminal offence with treatment programmes preferred over the punitive. Dealing, on the other hand, is still illegal so how come these guys have the gall on a busy, public street?

Dried bay leaves and baking powder, they say, targetted at youthful tourists so, while that might not have the desired effect, you're halfway there with the recipe for one of their famed custard tarts, eh?

No strangers to the bridge, us, this one looks like Newcastle-upon-Tyne's Tyne Bridge just with another bridge for trains on it.

It looks like this from the top and yes, it's a bit borderline for the wobblies and yes, that'll be the old vertigo.

The destination is the south side of the Rio Douro, not as big as but better than the river in Lisbon and where the ample quayside now acts as a popular provider of all things edible and quaffable.

There's a cable car option to drop you down from the bridge making this quite an adventure for a paper plateful of piri piri.

The best bet for a bite looks to be the indoor food court of the Mercado Beira-Rio, a restored 19th-century building that's way better than the one you're used to in your local shopping 'mall'.

Hereabouts is also where people flock to get merry with the sherry or sorted with the port, the recognisable names of the big producers all offering some combination of tours and tastings.

Red, white, sweet and dry, you could spend all afternoon over here at least you could do if this stuff wasn't upwards of 20% proof, hic!

'World of Wine' is slightly misleading in that WOW is sold as a new 'district' in what you thought was the district of Gaia. It's a slight hike uphill but if you find yourselves under a motorway then you've gone too far.

If, on the other hand, you find yourselves confronted by a giant rabbit then you haven't gone far enough, nice bit of work by the way.

Take your personal pick at WOW from the museums, restaurants, bars, shops and a wine school that now occupy the whitewashed wine warehouses.

It's all slightly sanitised so for something more traditional stick to the backstreets below.

Still, nice view from the terracing.

A boat will bring you back to or even take you across in the first place from the other side. It's then a short hop to a statue and green at the back of the former Mercado Ferreira Borges, now a nightclub but it's a bit too early for that.

From here there's the inevitable lug back up but you can delay that briefly by heading west along Rua de Belomonte and then up Rua das Taipas for a reward. Yes, a rewarding sunset over the Duoro but is that the? It can't be?

Of course it's not that bridge, that's behind you, silly, rather the similarly arched construction of the Ponte da Arrábida road bridge. Guided daredevils can clamber over the top it but it's a bit too late for that and yeah right, that's happening.

Besides, some kind of dome has been glimpsed closer to hand for tomorrow and it's bound to be like a botanical garden or something?

Supping on a Super Bock™ last night, there was no idea that the dome is actually the Super Bock Arena, a musical and sporting events, mainly, venue.

No, the real reason to be here is to relax away from the bustle in one of Porto's many public gardens and this one looks walkable on the map.

The Jardins do Palácio de Cristal, name nicked from our own Crystal Palace, has an ornate arrangement in front of the spaceship but things are wilder behind with a mini-network of paths sloping down to the river.

A word of warning, though, you can't get out or even in that way so you'll end up facing yet another ascent, suitably irritated. Not that there's any evidence of it, too much time was spent chasing the poultry, species unknown.

Super Bock™, by the way, appears to be the only brew they do here and can filed very much under 'Holiday Lager' with no reason to try and track it down in your local supermarket back home.

On the subject of parks within walking distance, the Parque e Jardim da Fundação Serralves definitely isn't and you'll know that if you've walked there, passing a botanical garden on the way, by the way.

It is, however, on the radar because this is Porto's modern art offering and who doesn't like to pay to look at a wall just to say 'I could do that!'.

The park and garden in question is part of an artistic foundation so it's rolled into the entrance fee but, indoors, why it's only our old pal from Palma Majorca, Joan Miro, no less.

Catalan John has no discernable connection with the city but the state amassed quite a collection, somehow, and much of it is on permanent display.

He's one of the big hitters, Miro, but on a bad day, it looks like a toddler has been handed some crayons and told to draw a new logo for the Olympics?

Back outside, you're allowed back inside an Art Deco villa that once belonged to a count but is now considered architecturally significant.

More exhibiting and some top-notch plastering are worthy of your entrance before a treetop walk of the kind last seen at Westonbirt Arboretum.

Not so gimmicky as you're thinking, there's an 'impactful experience of observation and study of the biodiversity...', they say. At least that's fathomable, unlike the words next to the modern artwork indoors, and it's a new addition to a, quite frankly, marvellous, varied area.

The walk here took longer than expected through an anonymous Euro-landscape so how about heading home south where there are bound to be buses by the river?

Have you seen Season One of  The Wire? Unlike the fraudsters back on Rua das Flores, the guys hanging here on the corners are thought to be the real deal.

Deary me, if we'd kept up the same pace along this stretch, we'd have been back at the hotel in 10 minutes, seriously.

Meanwhile, back in Porto, boy is it busy and here is confirmation that Porto is no best-kept secret with half of mainland Europe visiting by the sounds of it.

Unlike Lisbon, there's no need for a day trip although the impressive interior of the São Bento station would likely be your starting point should the beaches of Gaia's Atlantic coast beckon.

Just like Lisbon, there are a fair few Fado offerings, you know, the mournful musical style that's sung solo with a minimal backing track and addresses hardship, nostalgia and longing. Think of sad Country music with a classical guitar and a likely mention of the esposa leaving with the cão.

Porto Cathedral gets just a courtesy call since it's on the way to the bridge and is the hub of everything old and interesting. This one is 12th-century interesting but where have all the crowds gone?

Seems they're back up in the centre at some old tower or other.

The iconic landmark of the Torre dos Clérigos, that is, and they'll let you in and up the 240 spiral steps for a handful of €euros.

Except these people ain't here for no panoramic view. Porto's tripeiros are a notoriously well-read bunch and what other possible reason could there be for a queue to a bookshop?

Joanne Rowling, OBE, had the magical idea of a young wizard and his chums set largely in a school full of nonsense names. Briefly living in Porto, Rowling was a frequent visitor and the eye-catching interior of Livraria Lello is said to be the inspiration for how Hogwarts looks.

A peep inside of 'The most beautiful bookstore in the world!', they say, would normally be in order but because of the Potter phenomenon, you need to buy a ticket.

That's because nobody has any intention of buying a book but if you do then the ticket price is discounted, which means it's not really a discount, really, just a very long wait to fork out the same amount.

As for the tower, what's that you ask? Of course not but not because of no wobblies. Have you seen the queue? It's nearly as long as the one at Potters.