As in rhymes with 'diamanté', almost, Ayamonte might not be the jewel in the Spanish crown but it's just about as far as you can go south-west in España.
The Guadiana International Bridge is a clue and it's over there and into Portugal for the Eastern Algarve. Being fans of this sort of setup, it would be bordering on madness not to investigate?
This snap was taken just north of the old centre and yes, their bullring. Just like the bull, investors got it in the neck when the financial crisis of 2007 saw the development of this area for holidaymakers suddenly halt.
Work has supposedly since resumed and, unlike the bull, they're looking to finish it off quickly.
Just south of the old centre and over a bridge, just the one, large hotel here with a baffling view from the balcony. The Parque Zoologico Prudencio Navarro is just that, a zoo, although none of that Spanish in the name means small and shabby.
Advising trippers' comments were similar and the visible lack of staff is now a permanent situation with current reviews disappointingly describing it now as 'Just a park!'
There's not that much more happening around here apart from trying to nab a free, on-street parking spot. You'll end up lapping like a loon and kerbing that nearside rear tyre before struggling to replace it with an unfathomable spare wheel release mechanism and an unfamiliar jack.
What's that you say Señor? No, the situation isn't actually that funny!
Unassuming accommodation next to a supermarket with views from the balcony that used to rival those of an African safari.
This is largely a place for holidaying Spaniards although there are a handful of audible ex-pats. This is the Costa de la Luz, you see, one of the lesser known Costas but the beach is a three-mile trot south to Isla Canela.
This island spit, of sorts, not only serves up the sand but also a small, attractive resort of the same name that's home to the hotels and the burger vans.
To get there, you'll need to cross some uninhabitable salt marsh and the Marismas de Isla Cristina.
This managed marshland is part of a much larger nature reserve and if you're found of the wader, just like the zebras, lots of these come from Africa. You won't, however, feel like exploring too far what with that wobbly wheel.
Meanwhile, back in town, the old centre sits just north of the bridge and things are a bit more familiar Mediterranean-style-wise. Yes, it's known this isn't on the Med but 'Atlantic'-style suggests somewhere like St Ives.
It's all fairly compact but come sundown, and after a pair of aperitifs, there are plenty of pizza and paella providers. It has to be said, however, the tapas was found to be fairly standard fayre.
The main, pedestrianised and only public square of note but saying that, they've really gone to town with the tiles, not shown, and there's not a car in sight, none to show.
You've probably flown here in and out of Faro, which has just about enough to warrant an overnighter.
That includes free plates of prawns from a barman who's happy to see you're so thirsty but with one eye on the match. A rare belter from Bendtner, by the way, gave Denmark a half-time lead but a late leveller saw Portugal salvage a point. Can you say where you were on 5th September 2009?
After one last look at the marina from the balcony, it's not far to the airport where you'll have to 'fess up to the puncture and resign yourself to that fine.
Actually Europcar™, it was thought you'd charge much more than that especially as it was Bob's fault and you haven't seen the damage to the undercarriage and the wheel rim, yet.
As in rhymes with 'clucking bell' because, yeah, that's what was said at the time.