Just off the A12 in East Suffolk, this tiny place is lucky enough to be served by train. You'll still be needing a velocipede if you live near the church, though, that station's a good mile away.

Two reasons for passing through and the first is to check on the ancestors. Sly has family connections to round here, you see, but no matching, premarital, maternal surnames on the gravestones in All Saints.

The second is to sample the menu at the highly rated Darsham Nurseries Café.

Rated, at least, by Guardian™-reading types, it's back on the A12, near the train station and about a mile from the village. It's part of a swanky garden centre so there's hogget alongside the hogweed and pickles with the picea. It's supposedly very good and the renowned Pump Street Bakery in Orford supply the sweetmeats.

You know when you miss a turning on a B road? No problem you say, a simple 'u-ey' at the next available opportunity...

Aw, that's no good, that's someone's driveway.
Is that a crossroads? Nah! Too narrow to turn.
Man alive! There's someone behind now!

Before you know it, the chance of a fancy lunch has gone and you're halfway home scrabbling for crisps out of your passenger's lap.

All of this was once true but the café can now filed in the permanently closed category and Pump Street are now mainly churning out chocolate, obviously.

No, your only bet now is a petrol station with a mini-Budgen™s in it, which at least is handy for those crisps, eh?